Day 2

I am still not sure what I am doing here, and have started having minor panic attacks about what I have written, so am deleting a lot and kind of starting again.

I am very shy and introverted and lacking in self esteem and self confidence. I used to think alcohol gave me the opposite of those things, but it was just an illusion.

I do however consider myself reasonably intelligent and hold down what seems a good office job.

The little voice in my head has been telling me lately to have a drink but I realise it's just that I am so tired and quite stressed, so I am ignoring it. It will eventually go away but with Christmas parties coming up, it does make it harder.

Righto that's all for the moment.

B & J's Mum

Seven Years Sober

As of 26 November 2015 I am 7 years sober. I have started this blog as I am struggling with so many things in life at the moment and I need to make sure that I continue to stay sober.

I was in a shop about a year ago and walking past the book section I spied the book: Mrs D is Going Without. For some reason I was drawn to it and as I was reading it, I was going "that's me, that's me". So many things I used to do that were the same as the book. I am currently re-reading it, just to reinforce the reasons I don't want to start drinking again.

It would be so easy to start again, but I know if I started, one wouldn't be enough. I will not drink alcohol.

God I want a drink - but I won't! I must keep saying that. Seven years is a long time sober and I don't want to go through withdrawal symptoms again.

I am not sure why I am doing this (writing this blog) but have just deleted a whole lot of stuff that I wrote the other day.

I am scared people might read it and "judge" me- insecure I am as Yoda would say!

B & J's Mum