So I finished Mrs D's book last night. One piece struck a chord with me - the dreaming of drinking. I do that quite a lot and I am so annoyed in my dream that I have broken my number of days not drinking and will have to start all over again. For some reason the length of time is important to me - hence the title of my blog!
Anyway, I am so relieved when I wake up and find it was a dream and I haven't started drinking again.
On the other side of that though, I was thinking before I went to sleep last night how I would love a Strawberry Lindauer - only a bottle or two!!! I know I am very tired and that's when that little voice starts, so I am trying to ignore it, and I will. Two and half weeks until my holidays - woohoo!
The time thing could be to do with the fact this is the third time I have given up alcohol. The other two times I thought I could handle drinking just one or two, low alcohol beer and then it started spiralling. I wasn't getting the buzz, the high, so I needed more. That's what I really liked about drinking, the buzz and then the relaxation and the numbing of feelings.
As Mrs D says, when you stop drinking you start feeling and it is so true, but at times I don't want to, I just want the pain/stress to go away.
I will get over this little patch, and I am remembering to take one day at a time. Each sober day I get through is another victory for me.
B & J's Mum
PS: I don't have children, but I consider my two animals (1 cat, 1 dog) my children!
No comments:
Post a Comment